Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Am I ready?

I can't deny Bill a child. He's is so incredible with Austin, I can only imagine how he'll be with his own child. However, my baby is 9. I'm so excited to start ttc but sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing. Am I ready to start over? It would be different if I didn't already have a 9 yr old and I was naive to what it all involves but I do know.

Can I handle the late nights? Can I handle losing all of my *me* time, all of my *sleep* time? Can I handle the changing of diapers, the potty training, the broken sleep, the temper tantrums? Can I handle car seats and diaper bags? Can I handle someone relying on me 100% of the time now that Austin is self-sufficient? Will I breastfeed? Will I be a SAHM? [My body aches now] Can I handle a pregnancy?

I really am excited about ttc, I am! I can't wait for the 2ww! I can't wait for what leads up to the 2ww! I can't wait to be pregnant!

I know that I am so ready to have Bill's hands on my belly feeling his baby kick for the first time or going with me to the doctor's to hear the heartbeat or to see the sonogram with the flicker of a heart beating. I am so ready to see Bill look into his child's eyes while (s)he grasps his finger. I am so ready to see Bill change a diaper. lol I am so ready to see them sleeping together on the couch and to watch Bill grow as a father as his child grows.

BUT today is cd7 - Am I *really* ready?

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Normal entry

Well, because I'm such a nice person I feel like sh*t. I asked ex if I could claim Austin on my taxes this year - see we rotate years and I claimed him last year. Now I asked because I had NOTHING to claim this year. Last year I had Austin and the year before I still had my house, this year I had nothing and ex has a son with his fiancee so he claimed him and he let me claim Austin - with one catch, I would let him skip one month of child support. I agreed. It BY FAR worked to my advantage. Well ex called me on Friday and asked if I claimed the daycare, I explained that I had because I asked the accountant about it and he said that if ex isn't claiming the child, he can't claim the daycare costs. Ex rumbled under his breath... He owes the government $2,600 and that's with claiming his other son and his house! You ask how he owes so much? I found it's because he claims 5 and single! 5!! Anyhow, now I feel bad that I claimed Austin but if I hadn't, it would be me who owes $2,600, it's stupid I know but I feel guilty about this.

We had 1.5 bathrooms remodeled while we were gone. They were supposed to be finished while we were gone, we've almost been back for a week and they still aren't done.

We're finally unpacked.

Now that we are back we have to plan a party/reception. We've decided that we are going to - as nicely as possible - tell people that we prefer monetary gifts, if they feel the need to get us something. We don't NEED anything. We combined my house and Bill's house and trust me when I say it's full. I honestly can't think of ONE thing that we need where as with money, we can keep remodeling. We have a full bath downstairs that still needs remodeled and a new deck put on. The money would go a long way compared to a vase we don't need. Anyone know of a good way to word this? I don't want to sound like I'm asking them for a gift/money, kwim?

Bill's mom is going to be over bearing about this party. God give me strength to stand up for what we want and tell her all the things we don't want.

I forgot to mention a story from our trip:
A little embarrassing:At the Jamaican airport they 'searched' our bags and found my
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=86962&catid=21305&trx=PLST-0-SRCH&trxp1=21305&trxp2=86962&trxp3=1&trxp4=0&btrx=BUY-PLST-0-SRCH] and pulled it out and inspected it for all to see. *blush* I mean the guy was holding in the air at eye level. I don't think he realized what it was at least not until he smiled. Good thing he was wearing gloves!

I'm somebody's wife.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Jamaica - Part 3

**Thursday - Day 4**

This morning we woke to our First morning together breakfast (in bed), delivered by room service (ordered by us when we met with the wedding planner) – it was very good, we had omelets, toast, coffee & juice.
At this point I figured we had enough laundry so I filled out a slip, filled the bag (it was actually overflowing) and called laundry – they came and picked it up and delivered it back to us in less than 48 hrs. I love that amenity!
Then it was out to the beach! Jamaica finally came through for us and the sun was shining the weather was perfect from here on out – barely even a cloud in the sky! We went to lunch (in our bathing suits – I slipped on a pair of shorts and Bill a shirt) and then at 2:00 we went and picked 24 pictures from the 63 that were taken – how fun. Then it was back to the beach.
Around 5:00 we came in to get ready for dinner and after my shower I realized how uncomfortable my yeast infection was getting so I called the nurse. They called in a prescription of Diflucan and all I had to do was leave $19 at the front desk and then go back to get it within a ½ an hour. We at dinner at La Pasta, it was ok…
Tonight Bill wasn’t feeling good with a scratchy throat so we took it easy and caught the movie The upside of anger and then just fell asleep in each others arms.

**Friday - Day 5**

We ordered breakfast via room service today, then hit the beach, went to lunch, back to the beach, went in to shower and then went to dinner where they were having a Gala Party with a huge spread and entertainment.
On our way to dinner there was a woman who had a table set up and she was selling stuff, well, I happened to see a 5x7 frame that I wanted. The lady said $20. So I tried to haggle. She wouldn’t go below $20. All week I’d heard of people haggling but I couldn’t do it. See, I let her know that I really wanted the frame. After 3 different attempts – I walked away. Once we got inside I started looking for anyone that we’d met so far to see if they would haggle for me when the people at the piano bar (from day 3) came walking right towards us. I explained what was going on and ask if they could haggle – the one girl stepped forward and said, “What do you want and what are you willing to pay?” I told her the 5x7 frame for $15. She back and had bought it for $14 and then gave to us as a wedding present. Have I mentioned how nice everyone is??
After that we hung out at the piano bar and on our way back to our room we were invited into a hot tub that already had 4 couples in it (that’s 8 people(!), that we’d just met at the piano bar, they left before we did). They said that they were trying to displace as much water as they could. Did I mention they were ALL naked??? We passed and went home to bed.

**Saturday - Day 6**

By now my days are running together and I have no idea what day it is anymore, that’s a good thing. It would help to see a clock once in a while! This resort had ONE clock at the front desk – that was it! No clocks in your rooms – nothing! Very easy to lose track of time, whether your sleeping in or staying out too late!
Today was a laid back day I went to breakfast, Bill went to a Jamaican golf course with one of the guys he met, then I hit the beach, and when Bill got back we went to lunch, back to the beach, went in to shower and then went to dinner at Munasun, the Japanese restaurant. After dinner we walked the resort and took some pictures – which didn’t turn out that great. :mad: My yeast infection was feeling better so we had a little fun back in the room before falling asleep.

**Sunday - Day 7**

Day 7 was a lot like day 6 but Bill didn’t go golfing and we decided to try sailing which was neat but it was more work than Bill realized so we didn’t stay out too long. We got to go to the French restaurant, Piacere, again tonight because our wedding planner has friends who live close to us and we brought back coffee for them – under one condition: she made us reservations for the French restaurant. Again, dinner was awesome!!!

**Monday - Day 8 (our last day)**

We have to leave today. I’m happy and sad. I hate to leave such a gorgeous place with no worries but there’s no place like home and I miss Austin terribly! We try to hit the beach for a little bit before we leave but we didn’t realize checkout was at 11:00 – we extended it to 12 but it cut our beach time short so we could shower and pack. The flight home was uneventful and we arrived safely.

I need to say that we met people from all over the world including: Finland, Canada, London (and the guy asked us, “Have you forgiven us yet for sending you Simon Cowell?” ), Indiana, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Michigan and New York. These were some of the nicest people I think I ever met! We exchanged our emails with 3 couples! And all of them were repeaters to the resort so we might actually see them again. I can’t get over how laid back the Jamaican’s are, don’t worry be happy is a definite motto there and ya mon is phrase that I smile at every time I hear it now.
We really did relax and have a great time. If you read this far God Bless you!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Jamaica - part 2

**Wednesday - Day 3 (Wedding day)**

We wake up and are pleased to see the sun is shining!! I had my 8:00 hair appointment so when I left I told Bill to keep on top of our stuff at the laundry and make sure we have it by 9.
I get back from my appointment around 9 and still no dress… We call around 9:15 and they say we’ll have it by 9:30. We call at 9:40 – when it’s still not here – and they say it’s on the way. 9:45 it arrives. We have to get dressed and make it to the other side of the resort in 15mins. I can do it, no problem, all I have to do is undress, slip into my dress, zip up and slip on shoes. Bill, on the other hand, had to put on the shirt, the tie, the pants, belt, socks, tie shoes etc etc etc. but we made it. Whew… nothing like making us sweat BEFORE the ceremony.
We arrive at the gazebo to get married and we’re a little early so they snap a few pictures. Now, the gazebo is located on the au natural side or should I say ‘clothing optional’ side. Right at the top of the walkway, where I walked down (the aisle), was a couple on their bottom floor balcony butt naked. So I walk down the ‘aisle’, get to Bill (God I love him), meet the minister (whatever his title was) and start the ceremony when Bill and I notice that right behind the minister is the naked couple. We could see them in all their glory the whole time we got married. :lol: After the ceremony, we signed the marriage license, we cut and ate the cake, and drank the champagne. Then it was picture time. Oh yea, our photographer, Roge, was our best man and he informed us later while taking pictures that he was a farmer of Ganja – aka: marijuana.
After pictures we went back to the room and changed that’s when I noticed both of my baby toes had blisters the size of dimes which constricted from wearing anything other than my flip-flops for the rest of the trip :doh: and then we went to lunch. That’s when the weather started turning…it got cloudy and rained. Thank God 10am was the only available time for our wedding – it was THE BEST time!
After lunch we went back to our room where we consummated the wedding ;), showered and napped and it was then I realized that I was starting to feel a yeast infection.
We got up from our naps (still not able to go outside with the terrible weather) and got ready for our 6 o’clock dinner reservations at the Piacere, the French restaurant but we called Austin before leaving the room (we found out when we got there that the calling card we bought was useless…). Dinner was AWESOME! Had we gone to a restaurant like that around here, we would’ve paid $100+ - um, they gave me sorbet to cleanse my pallet before the main course!
Then we went to the Piano bar for a little karaoke where the couple that gave us the bottle of rum was there and the wife sang Fly to the moon by Sinatra for us. She did a great job and again, so sweet of her. It was an awesome song.
We met some more people, who we hung out with quite a bit afterwards and even exchanged email addresses, one of them being my sister’s neighbor! No lie. She lives off the 2nd hole on a golf course and he lives off of the 5th hole on the SAME golf course! It’s a small world.
On our way back to our room, I was confronted by a couple who saw us get married where she showered me with compliments telling me I was the prettiest bride of the whole day because since their room is on the au natural side they get to see all the weddings. The prettiest bride of the day? That’s a huge compliment; I’ll take it.

To be continued…

Jamaica - part 1

Let me start by saying that we stayed at a wonderful resort with great amenities. Where housekeeping came by twice a day, once in the morning to make your beds and tidy up and then in the evening to turn your bed down and tidy up again. I love having my bed turned out with flower petals sprinkled about, cute little things made from towels and “Sweet dream” notes left on my pillow. ;) Your first manicure and pedicure were free. They had 24 hr room service. And they did your laundry!
We drank frozen drinks all day: Hummingbirds, Lido’s Prides, Chocolate monkeys, Dirty bananas and Pina Coladas. Other drinks included brown cows, which were the equivalent to Kahlua and creams, cranberry and vodkas and Red Stripe beer, which was their very own Jamaican beer – sometimes Bill opted for just a Miller light.
They had 5 restaurants: Café Lido, La Pasta, Munasun (Japanese), Piacere (the yummy French restaurant) and the Reggae Café. The French and Japanese restaurants you needed to make reservations for and the French restaurant had a dress code where the men had to wear jackets and no sandals or sneakers were allowed.
Just wanted to add: Before we got there I asked the wedding planner via email how I would get my dress and Bill's suit pressed when we got there and that's when she informed me that laundry was included just to contact them when I got in. So as soon as we get in the front desk is walking us to our room and I asked about laundry, they tell me it takes 48hrs and I don't have 48 hrs so she tells me to call the wedding planner. I walk in the door, put down my suitcase and call the wedding planner, I got voicemail so I left a message. She doesn't return my call until the next morning telling me I have to call laundry. So I call laundry and they come get our stuff and I tell them the wedding is the next morning at 10am, they said ok.

**Monday - Day 1**

While waiting for our flight to board in the 1st class lounge we met a 64 yr old couple who was very friendly. They go to Jamaica every year to the Hedonism II resort. He told us we should get a day pass and come over that they would be “hanging out” – literally. Um, no thanks.
The flight was wonderful. It was the first time either of us flew 1st class and we loved it. Then we took the puddle jumper from Montego Bay to Negril where I got to be the co-pilot. :D I actually FLEW the plane, it was so cool.
When we got there it was so cold with 50mph winds, no sun and just dismal for the first two days – I was beginning to worry about the weather for our wedding. Also, I was still trying to recover from my cold so we stayed inside and played pool and then walked the resort to see what was what and what was where.

**Tuesday - Day 2 (also Valentine's Day)**

Our manicure and pedicure appointments were at 9:00 am so we set our alarm to get up early enough to lounge about and get breakfast before heading to our appointment. 11:00am we had an appointment with the wedding planner where I picked my bouquet and paid for the marriage license to be sent to us express (within 60 days) otherwise it would take 6-12 months with no guarantee and what they gave us is not valid for a name change. And I really want to get rid of ex’s last name. Can you blame me?
It was still cloudy and cold with some drizzle which was forcing me to wear a jacket in Jamaica :mad: and I was still sneezy from my cold.
After meeting with the wedding planner we went downstairs, paid for our picture package and made my hair appointment.
We ate dinner at Cafe Lido - the food was awesome and Bill I learned that we love goat cheese!
Later that night we entered a pool tournament (still too cold to do much outside) and a couple that we’d met ended up winning a bottle of rum and they gave it to us as a wedding present. :) So sweet of them.
Get back to our room that evening 1/2 expecting to see our dress and suit - nothing. So I call laundry, again informing them of our wedding the next day at 10am and they said we'd have our stuff by 9am.

to be continued...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I'm back

I'm back! And while I like being back, as how there's no place like home, I hate how busy it is when you first get home and work, it sucks. Anyhow, I tried keeping a small journal of everyday and I will do an entry when I get a little time at either work or home. Right now it looks as though it'll be done from work b/c when we were gone we had the 1.5 baths upstairs completely remodeled and they were to be finished when we got back but neither of them were done so my house is a mess and everything's up in the air! I can't stand a mess like that so it's driving me batty! And my sister is giving me crap about possibly not seeing them this weekend - they want to take us to dinner - and she's whining like a baby how we'll see Bill's family but won't make any time for her blah blah blah. We have no plans right now and all I can see in my future is cleaning and unpacking and moving back into my bathroom.

So, hopefully I'll get this day-by-day of my vacation typed in here soon enough for all to read.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

This will be my last journal entry before we leave. When I get back I will be married, hence "my last 'single' entry".

Well, we got all of our packing done today. Whew... I think I packed enough clothes to dress a small army. Bill doesn't think we packed a lot but it looks like a lot... Of course there's a wedding dress in one of those bags and all this 'extra' stuff that comes with getting married. I hope I haven't forgot anything but I really feel like I've got it all.

Bill is taking the dog to his mom's right now, he asked her today, and I thought I was a procrastinator. BUT he had his reasons, not that I completely agree with him to spring a dog on someone for a week just hours before but he thought telling his mom she can't come to the wedding and then asking her to watch the dog was like rubbing salt in the wound. He originally asked his sister but there was a little hesitation so he called his mom and dad. The cats are also being looked after as well as our mail being brought into the house.

My iPod is pretty loaded. In between packing and doing laundry and dishes and shoveling snow and cleaning out the bathrooms completely, I managed to get a pretty good library of over 300 songs!

So I'm getting married here in just less than 40 hrs. What can I say? I'm thrilled. I'm not at all nervous, although Bill might be... 1st marriage and all. I think he's expecting a transformation of the worst kind after we say 'I do', like I become some monster. His friends did this to him. Thanks guys.

So wish me luck and a safe flight. I'm on my way!

Thanks for all the well wishes, I really did feel the luv.
*smooches* see you all when I get back!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Brides gift

Bill gave me my gift last night: The 5th Generation 30GB iPod.

I knew he wasn't stupid!! And he gave it to me early so that I could get some music on it before we left so it could accompany me on our trip. Thoughtful too.

Also, after taking Austin to the doctor and getting him tested for strep and looked at for Fifth's disease - they narrowed it down to just a virus.

Thursday, February 9, 2006

Guess what?

Bill just called me and asked how my day was going and when I asked him he the same he told me that his day was interesting, he's been here and there blah blah blah.

Then he's telling me that he met one of his buddies (that he's doing work for right now) and his lawyer and they were talking about ways to buy investment property without using out-of-pocket money and it's what he said next that gets me.

He said that he's not worried about "us" but he was asking the lawyer about a prenup. Remember I journaled about him wanting one in the past??? I thought this was a dead topic... But the lawyer got to talking and said that you had to list your assets etc etc etc and Bill said that it started to feel like a business deal so he told him to forget it and then he said to me "I love you".

My jaw just dropped b/c I thought it was a non-issue but then the way he said, "I love you" just melted me.

He must know I love him and that I'm not going anywhere...

Bottom line: He is finally made peace with not having a prenup.

Monday, February 6, 2006

Bill is so sweet.

We are getting spoiled on our trip. We're flying first class air and staying at a top notch resort (Grand Lido Negril) and now he just had me book a charter from the airport to the resort.

When we get to the airport we are to get on a bus that will shuttle us to our resort which will take the minimum of 1.5 hours but we've now booked a charter (some call them puddle jumpers) from the airport to the resort and that will only take 15mins. Bill couldn't stand the thought of being on the bus for 1.5 hours.

See I was stressing a little about the cost because while were gone we are having 1.5 bathrooms at home remodeled and we had to pay for that too. BUT...Bill said that he'll take care of the bathroom expense so we don't have to pay out-of-pocket (if I tell you I'd have to kill you) and with that taken care of I'm not as worried so that was our compromise. He'll take care of the bathroom expense if I book the charter. I like that deal so I booked the charter this afternoon.

He said that if it were any other trip he might lean on the cheaper side of things but being this is our wedding/honeymoon he wants no expense spared. He loves me.

With that said, I have not ovulated yet but I have the pains today so I'm thinking I'll ovulate tomorrow causing me to get my period the day after we return home. How great is that? And that next cycle we'll be ttc.

Hugs to everyone reading.