Um, Wow?

I don't even know where to begin with this entry but it's one that must be written.

I'm going to go back quite a few years....

When I was 7 my dad left us. My mom and dad divorced and each got remarried... My dad lived in FL (we were in PA) so I never met his wife... However, living with my mom, we got the joys of living with her new husband or my step-dad, Rich. My mom went into this relationship with 4 children (3 daughters and a son), Rich went into it with 3 sons - together they had my baby brother.

Rich was an abusive (I'm talking: physical, emotional & sexual) alcoholic. I don't believe, out of the 8 kids and my mom, that any of us were spared from his abuse. I could list some of the horrific moments of my childhood but I won't, just know that it was bad.

My mom, eventually, left him. It wasn't as easy as that since he stalked and threatened us with a gun in his possession but we managed to get away. My mom left with her children and my baby brother (who's father gave up parental rights to and let my -real- dad adopt him when my dad and mom remarried each other a few years later down the road - complicated I know), his children stayed with him.

It's been approximately 20yrs since we've seen him and our "step brothers", who my mom legally adopted.

Monday my baby brother, who is now 24, was contacted through his Myspace account by my youngest "step-brother", who is now 26. I KNEW this day would come... they are 1/2 brothers and each have been casually looking for the other. I'm not even sure if my baby brother remembers him but it was the fact that he had 3 half brothers out there that nagged him.

My baby brother is ecstatic but he knows none of his "real" father's actions. Basically, no one will tell him unless he asks, so far he hasn't asked... I don't even know how much my step-brother remembers since he was so young as well...

I, myself, am torn as to whether or not I should contact my step brother. He never did anything to me, as a matter of fact, he was only 6 when I last saw him but I'm not sure I want to open that can of worms since on his "Myspace" page he lists his father as one of his heroes. I don't need or want his father back in my life. The thought of it, alone, scares me to death.

My baby brother has plans to meet my step brother over Labor day weekend. I'll update more when there's more to say.