Monday, August 14, 2006

22wks and still worried

Why oh Why can't I relax this pregnancy?

I know that it's b/c of my miscarriage history (I always feel like the other shoe is going to drop) and b/c my sister lost my nephew at 26wks. They said that while they don't know when he "died" in utero, that he measured 22wks gestation. She had her 20wk sono and everything looked great but I guess it wasn't as great as they all thought, something was wrong. I saw my nephew and he looked "perfect", they say it was a cord issues - too narrow or something along those lines but what if... ...

But I'm 22wks, 23 on Wednesday but gosh, the smallest thing happens and I freak.

Why am I journaling about this today? Well, because I've noticed that if I want to feel the baby move all I really need to do is place my hand at my pantyline and he'll give me a thump. So this morning I wake up, have breakfast and I decide that I want to feel baby move, I go lay down on my bed, place my hand in said place and waited. Nothing. I moved around, jostled my belly and waited for movement...nothing. So I get up brush my teeth and get ready to jump in the shower but I must first go check for movement...nothing. I shower and try again...nothing. I'm sure you can see where this is going. I never did get to feel him this morning and now I have myself wondering if everything is ok.

As I sit at work now, I think I might feel some slight movement/kicks in there and it's enough to reassure me for now but I wish that I could sit back with the same ignorant bliss I had when I was pregnant with Austin.

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